Stew
by Chima
Summary: An argument breaks out between Legolas and Gimli, and it ends up in a fight to the death. Who will win?


I wrote this one for you, Rinaka! I hope you like it, this is my first Lord of the Rings fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own any LOTR, but I do own one of the One mass produced Rings that you can buy from catalogues.

Stew

"If this camp were any tenser I'm sure that it would break in half!" Merry exclaimed as he tended the fire. He was right, though they'd barely set out from Rivendell the fellowship around the crackling fire was silent and desolate. Only the Hobbits seemed in good spirits, and that was most likely because there was food to be had.

While they had been trekking that day Merry had found a growth of mushrooms, and Sam had gotten some wild onions and carrots. Pippin was making their findings into a stew that smelled delicious. A fed Hobbit is a happy Hobbit.

"You speak the truth, little one," Gimli said. "Much of this tension could be avoided if there weren't certain members present," he threw a sidelong glance at Legolas, who was currently sitting in a nearby tree. He seemed to ignore Gimli's comment and continued staring into the forest. "Now if there were another Dwarf, we would all be better off. What use is a long-legged Elf to this fellowship?"

Suddenly an arrow buried itself in the tree Gimli was leaning against, just millimeters from his head. He started and glanced at the arrow, narrowing his eyes.

It was a green fletched arrow.

He leapt up and hefted his axe, staring daggers at Legolas. He hadn't moved, or so it seemed, his bow laid beside him and quiver over his back. He was absentmindedly swinging his legs as they dangled from the tree branch, much as a small child would.

"As is typical of your race, you stay out of reach when the time comes to fight. Why don't you come down and fight like a man!" Gimli shouted.

"I cannot fight as a man would, for I am an Elf. Nor would I wish to, for that matter, though I hold no grudge against them. As for my tendency toward my bow, I believe it is better to attack from where it is more difficult to be retaliated against," Legolas stated, not even turning around. If Gimli had been in front of him he would have seen the sparkle of mischief in Legolas's eyes and the faint smile of merriment on his face.

"You will come down and fight me, or I will force you out of your tree!" Gimli roared and raised his axe to chop at the tree that Legolas was in.

"Stay your hand, Gimli," Aragorn said from near the fire. "There is enough trouble on hand without disputes between us."

Gimli looked about ready to cleave Aragorn in two, but he just narrowed his eyes and turned away. "We'd be better off without that sad excuse of a being," he muttered.

He was answered by another arrow lodging itself in the ground an inch from his foot.

Legolas laughed, still holding his bow as Gimli turned around. "Do you see these on the sides of my head, Master Dwarf? They're called ears. It's no use speaking under your breath, I could hear you a mile away!" he laughed again, an almost musical sound that reminded you of a brook running over stones and pebbles.

Gimli fumed, having taken the insult like it was laughing in his face. Well, actually, it was. He spun around and buried his axe deep in the tree's trunk, then wrenched it out with a grating _crack_. It hadn't been a very large tree, and it overbalanced and toppled.

Legolas merely ran along the length of the branch and leapt to another tree, jumping from branch to branch as he made his way down to the ground.

"Gimli, calm down. It's nothing to get yourself all worked up over," Pippin said.

"It was only a harmless joke," Merry said.

"If you Hobbits had any pride you might have gone farther in the world instead of hiding in the Shire!" Gimli roared out just as Legolas made it to the ground. Legolas landed silently in a crouch, his face hidden.

The Hobbits just stared at Gimli, speechless. "That is quite enough, Gimli," Gandalf said.

"You think too much of your own bloodline," Legolas said without looking at Gimli, although he did straighten up to his full height. "Hobbits are just as well off as Dwarves, Elves, or Humans. More likely even better."

That was the last straw for Gimli. He bellowed at the top of his lungs and dove at Legolas, swinging his axe. Legolas ducked away from it and unsheathed his daggers, parrying Gimli's wild blows. Gimli swept the daggers aside with a powerful swing, sending them flying off toward the campfire, straight at Merry and Sam. The two Hobbits ducked down at the last moment and the daggers thudded harmlessly into a tree.

Legolas dodged yet another swing and pulled out his bow, somehow managing to string an arrow and not get cut in half. In a moment he had it aimed at Gimli's head, the point an inch from Gimli's face.

At that moment Gimli swung his axe, stopping it just before it sliced down on Legolas's head. If either of them let fly their weapons they both would be killed.

A stalemate.

It all had happened within a few seconds, no one having a chance to react. Now Merry and Sam gave twin squeaks of shock, Frodo too stunned to speak. Gandalf, Aragorn, and Boromir came toward Legolas and Gimli, neither of which had moved a muscle. They were giving each other looks that would have curdled new milk, and neither showed signs of letting up.

"Come now, you two. There are more important matters afoot that differences between races. Both of you, set your weapons aside," Gandalf commanded in a voice so powerful that they both complied, but were still glaring at each other. "Neither of you shall draw arms against the other again."

Then there was a sizzling hiss and Pippin, who had been tending the stew all that time, turned around and smiled innocently. "The stew's ready!" he announced. His smile faded to a puzzled one as he took a look around the camp, noting the expressions on everyone's faces. "What? Did I miss something?"


End file.
